i heard it once in breakfast at tiffanys, my favourite movie by the way..
and i believed in it.. its when you are affraid, sad and lonely, with no apparnt causes...
the mean reds are really difficult to deal with, unlike the mean blues, see... the blues can be cured by fixing the problem, but when you dont know whats wrong with you and whats eating you alive... i doubt you can cure it...
i've been in a serious relationship for the past couple of months, it is serious, but long distance, it gives me headache, but its not what worries me at all, neither my exams, they are tiering but i dont really worry about them until 12 hours before the exam itself.
my family are alright, thank god, my friends are ok, i'm secured financially and very much content with it, kind of healthy, i still give my aerobics class every other day... but i wonder what worries me!
now, sometimes i cant sleep, i would stay up all night, tossing and turning, sensing that something is wrong, then i feel a jolt of.. rather emotional pain, which is proof to me that something's wrong, but i just cant point it out, well.. can't until the damage is done.
if i could master this, and focus my energy on it, it might be a good gift, but for the time being it is stressful to either not sleep or get a mini coma when ever the mean reds come...
smoke fades, fog clears up a long while after that feeling had started... then you see the clash with you as a refrence point or a meeting.
it kind of feels like.. kind of like when you have too much coffee, and you are shaken down, with your heart rate high and a strong sense of gravity, pulling nothing but your heart... making that void bigger and bigger.
if there only a way for me to figure out how to deal with this instead of withdrawing...
is it just me? does anyone even feel like that or get those kinds of feeling?
sometimes i think its just the sissy in me over thinking, but honestly, it cant be just that!
the need for clearity is a must sometimes, and until it all clears up, i doubt i'll get a good night sleep...
