it was a strange feeling... i kept waking up at night, short of breath...
i was suffocating, burning up, it felt as if my organs and my insides were boiling...
everything was dark.. seriously damp, there was just no air...
a lump in my throat, buzzing in my ears, rush of flashbacks popping in my head...
and there it was, expanding, killing me by eating me up, just like a flesh eating virus...
it was a hole in my heart, i dont know where it came from, the night before i was fine, and in that perticular night, i just lost it...
i freaked out, i called all my friends but it was too late most of them had their phones off, some told me the next night had it on silent...
i dont know what came over me...
i sat on the floor and i gathered whats happening to me, i thought about it, and as i put the small, small fractures of whats going on... i opened more room for this hole to consume...
little things just joined forces, little things just made a chock hold on my neck and a black hole in my heart...
i felt hatred... anger...depression.. lonlyness, bitterness for sure!
i also felt scared, sad, mocked and rediculed!
and if you ask me thats a whole lottsa feelings now!
i didnt know whats wrong with me, but the only thing i could think of was the little... little things...
the eating breakfast alone, the backstabbing individuals i've known, the momentalrily phases of the illusion of happiness...
the users, the molesters, the theives, people who you trat with grace and generousity and all you get back from them is filth...
i was pissed...
i dont know what to say... all i know is i really lost hope in many people, and perhaps myself...
i need time to work on this or its gonna eat me alive!
