Charming World

Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts

Gossip

- i taked about this before, but today there's another twist -

its what you do when you're with your friends, when you're with your family, doctor, neighbour...
its what you do with almost.. Almost everyone...
as flawed humans we tend to love talking about other, throwing your casual insult, your typical ditch and your not so slippery freudian slip.
but... we tend to morph into raging bitchs when anyone says somthing about us.

i wont be so self richeous and sit her talking about how i dont gossip, because i fucking gossip like a depressed houseife who's cheating on her husband with the schools' celibacy club president who's about fifteen years old younger than her.

but you see, i have certain guide rules, i mean i dont gossip your misory, i just... transfer your news into another mutual friend, and in mutual friend i mean a real friend who we have in common, not some crazy assed mother fucker who works in dental cafeteria whom you pass by every day ever so politly and buy your coffee.

moving on, i'm an easy target for gossip, thats why my hair is too huge LOL, any way, so people gossip about me, which is normal and we wont talk about that, but when people gossip with me about other... well... here's an issue!

i never really cared much about the girl with the snaggle tooth if she's getting more action than the whole class, i mean there isnt any law against snagle teeth, plus the guys in my uni would dive head first in any invagination, even if its a cows booty chopped and hung...

i never really cared for "x"'s girlfriend and seriously, the bit about her being gassy while they made out after eating mcdonalds is not a brighter addition intelectual knowledge.

one piece of good gossip is about professor hedaya and how she was cuaght feeling up a girls breast... i always thought she was a dyke... it was really nice to talk shit about her!

i know allot of secrets, and i never share them, when ever i'm told a secret it goes away and fades, like like it was never told, so gossiping secrets is not really something i enjoy...

and to be frank gossiping always puts people in trouble, so i tend to preferf open chat circles with my friends, i mean why talk about it behind the person if the person himself can tell us and we can publicly humiliate/support/DEEEEPLY HUMILIATE him?

one more last thing...
we had a guy at our college, who calls him self "the hose" well, the hose always talks shit about me, and i never bothered, but today a friend whom "the hose" wanted to screw for the longest time told me that when he saw her cleavage, his hose... kinda died :D
and its not really a hose its a long... stick, like a really long pencile!

poor hose guy!
and i hope i dont get my ass kicked tomorrow in class ;p!
ps: yall we gotta submit ower paper sheets for the crown research!!! dont tell me you didnt get this coz yall RSS to my posts!

Laila Wel Theeb In Iraqi

This is frikin funny!!

في يوم من الأيام قررت ليلى الذهاب إلى جدتها التي تسكن في الغابة المخيفة
فأعطتها أمها سلة وبها بعض من "الدولمه" هدية لها
فوصلت ليلى إلى الغابة وهي تسير بها وتغني فرحه
خاله شكو شنهوالخبر داحجيلي
وكانت الطيور تغني فرحة معها وتقول:
أوووي أوووي
ولكن سرعان ما سمعت ليلى صوت مريب خلف الشجرة المخيفة هناك
فأسرعت هي بدورها لتعرف "شكو ماكو" فأ دهشت ليلى من وجود الذئب الشرير خلف الشجرة
فسألتهُ ببراءة الأطفال وقالت:
عمي الذيب عمي الذيب هاي لوييش عيونك كبار جنك بومه؟
فرد الذئب بارتباك قائلاً:
عمي هسه عوفيني عندي شغل يابه
دهشت ليلى من هذا الرد التحفه
لكن سرعان ما عادت إلى غنائها وغنت أغنية
كِلي يا حلووو امنيين الله جاباك
في هذه الأثناء سمعت ليلى نفس الصوت المريب
فذهبت لترى من هناك
ورأت الذئب مره ثانية
وسألته بشيء من الحذر وقالت:
عمي الذيب عمي الذيب هاي لوييش اذونك إكبار جنها أذون الشيطان؟
فرد الذئب باستياء كبير جداً قائلاً:
وِلِج هــاي غـير طرقاعه هااااي.. عمو عوفني هسه وُلِج اشبيييج إنتي؟؟
عادت ليلى إلى الغناء وهي مكسورة الخاطر ولكن عاد الصوت ليزعج ليلى فهرولت خلف الشجرة
ثم سألت الذئب بشيء من الخُبث هذه المرة وقالت:
عمي الذيب عمي الذيب هاي لوييش حلكَكْ اجبير جنه حلك هدى حسين؟؟
فرد الذئب غاضِباً يائساً:
وِلِج نعنه على النعنه من على النعنه
هاي الواحد يعني مايُعْرُفْ يبول ابهاي الغابه!!!؟؟