Friendship Goes Out Of Fashion…
I once, heck I'd be lying if I said once, I numerously met people online, who said that they became closer to me, became my friends, talked to me for hours and hours on the phone, and then just after a period of time, they stopped calling me, talking to me, returning or returning my messages.
Now, I've heard a lot of excuses, but there is this one guy, this particular guy that I wrote an article about him in my blog – lost of convictions – who stopped his connection with me, just a plain disconnection, he had told me before that he had done this move on a particular guy who did him wrong once, but what I can't recall me doing him any harm, so since wondering is a full time job, I started to wonder, why did he disconnect me, why did he stop returning my calls, why did he block me on msn – I have this program, it tells me who blocked me – on most importantly. Why did he do the same exact move, that he always, always! Told me not to do, or use on a friend?
I began to wonder, was it because I am rude sometimes, or most of the times? Was it because in our conversations I always got mad, and he wasn’t allowed to get mad, - ps mad as in stood guard of my opinion -, was it because I had a dark or a sick sense of humor – may I say that he always told me he liked it! -, was it because I am rough in certain situations, or because I lie about my feelings sometimes, perhaps its because that I am moody, because I talk about sex too much, maybe it is because I space out and act like I live anywhere but Kuwait?
I kept on wondering, and the more I wonder the more RED, I become, now you might say Sollai, you mean blue! But as the divine Audrey Hebron said in breakfast at tiffany's " the blues is when you feel that you're a little fat or so… " that’s the blues, but the red, oh my! Its when you're afraid of something you don't know, like am I to face the problem I had with this guy, with more friends, wither its my male or female friends, am I going to face this again?
I mean is that it?
Is that all there is?
What kills me the most that "its" Unresolved, and when I say it's, I refer to the unknown state I have between my friend and I, is it a problem, is it a hiatus? OR is there a problem at all?
Where ever we go in the world, we crash into people, and then we - as humans - get a chance or two to resolve or issues with them, wither they are old friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, husbands, wives, or what ever, we just get the chance... what I am wondering about right now is, why don't I seem to get that chance, the chance to resolve my issues...
Why did our friendship go out of fashion?
Does it happen! Do friendships go out of fashion?
Why didn’t I get a chance to know if there were issues?
Why didn’t I get the chance to resolve those issues?
Once again I am slapped on the face, once again, I trusted the wrong person to be my friend!
Once again, I was proven wrong!
