Everybody's Changing

Lily Allen - Everybody's Changing [Live]
http://www.zshare.net/audio/110340957bd926df/

Closer

The bitterness of a sweet appitite...
The darkness of the brightest light...
The lonsome of a kissed that's filled with lust...
Some things are never meant to be understood..
Some Pain is a must...

Closer...

It's brutal...
This cant't be true...
I am longing...
For your touch while you're holding me...
For your lips while you're kissing me...
For your breath to save me...

But You're not there...

Hre in my arms...
But I Cant Feel You...

I want you...
I want you to come closer...

Closer...

Why wouldn't You let me love you?
Please...

Closer...

Come Closer...

Closer...

i'm sorry, I AM SO Sorry!

in my short life, I've met allot of people, seen, heard, talked and for sure loved, allot of people.
I was also hurt by the people I've met, most of them if not all of them hurt me once or twice, wither they hurt me by a word, a gesture, a conversation behind my back or even a look, I was hurt by most if not all of the people I met...

some people did not know that they've hurt me, so i didnt hear something from them, but some knew that they did, but not all of them said it.
I am sorry...

does it work? yes, it does, but is it enough?
you see when someone hurts you very bad, that it might cause depression for a week or two, when someone hurts you very bad, that you might consider a drastic change in life, when they hurt you so bad, that you turn into a sock on the floor, useless, i mean what can you do with one sock? except for maybe stuff it with sand and make a useless make believe puppet out of it, at that time, at that moment, and in that intensity, does sorry really work?

i've heard sorry for so many times, it just stopped working on me, now i need a gesture to really forgive someone...

i might need a hug, a kiss, a promise sometimes a small little look, because the word sorry is just warren out, sorry alone doesnt mean anything to me.
when i hurt someone, i stay days, maybe weeks tormenting myself about it, and the people who've met me, the people who've really gotten to know me noticed that when i hurt some one i get obsessed in trying to make it up for them, not just by a word, not just by sorry, because sorry alone is not enough!

its not enough, it needs real feelings, real meaning, real moments, it needs to be intense so you would be forgiven, so you would feel it, so you could feel it for real, so real in fact you might never hurt any one again, because only when you feel sorry, you realize how horrible it is to hurt someone.

Feel The World From The Inside

Sailing through the stars...

clouds bellow my feet...

this feeling is very dangerous to feel...





The clothes I had on seem to disappear...

my eyes are forced to see...





and suddenly I feel safe...

with your lips on mine...

I become one with the sky...





I don't want this feeling to end...

the torment of your breath on my hair...

the pleasure of my soul holding yours...

a gate to feel the world from the inside...

feel the world from the inside...

just...

feel the world from the inside...

A Video that had an impact on me

i saw this video today, and i couldnt help but get all teary eyed.

I love you mom, thanks for being you, you made me feel, you made me sensitive, always made sure i loved every one, listened to every one, i wish one day you would be happy, i wish i could make you happy, people like you should never feel sad, if only they knew what you've done for me.

HiyaaaH!

Talking SHIT

people, from all walks of lives fill their day with hobbies, people jog, people sing, people read, people walk, and god oh yes dear god! they TALK!

what is it about human beings that makes them so attracted to gossip? I don't know, wither its the fabulous celebrity, the next door neighbor, the quite colleague, the guy who walks five times on a daily basis to the mosque, the guy who goes every Sunday to church or the frikin guy who goes to worship at the church of scientology!
we talk about them, yes I said we, I included myself, I gossip, but why?
why do we have to talk about people's dirt!
why is it so appealing? people's dirt I mean, why is it so appealing?
is it because their dirt is considered an adrenalin rush to us?
is it because of the fact we are too much of wimps and cowards not to do it?
it it because its so uncanny? repulsive? weird? daring? taboo?
why is it so appealing?
why does it pull us to talk about it?

cant we be civilized and stop trashing people?
o.k, you want to talk, tell the story, but don't spice it up, imagine if they were talking about you, how would you feel?
no I know, it is fun to talk about people, and you don't care if people talk about you...
WELL there is where you are wrong, yes it is fun, But boy! do you care!
you guys hate it when people talk about you, you guys get pissed, your heads hit the roof!

long story short fella's!
quite gossiping or else good will book you a nice spot in hell!

Loss

as humans, we are bound to live life gaining and losing things, gaining new friends, new job titles, new clothes and perhaps new habits, and losing...
well, losing job titles and material stuff in general may hurt a little, but in my opinion losing a friend, a family member or a loved one, may hurt as the dickens!

yes the introduction to this topic is a little shaky and rusty, but its only because I don't know where to begin...
I just got out of a two years long relationship, with a person that I am proud to say, showed me the world in happy colors.
I wont talk about the good times, because there were too many, I wont talk about the bad times, because they weren't really bad, if any thing they simply made us happier!
to lose the ability to say I love you.. it hurts
to lose the ability to block the world and to be with the one that you love alone.... it hurts
to lose the warm smile... the silly jokes, the annoying remarks... the funny situations... the ironic situations... the time you've shared...
Well! it hurts!

how do we deal with loss?
I wondered...
is it to get a new lover, an new girlfriend, a new boyfriend, a pet?
to stay put all day watching old series and drinking wine coolers or juice?
seriously?
what could get us through loss?
painful loss not beneficial!
maybe.. maybe by taking a deep breathe and letting it all out
maybe of accepting it and talking about it
by numbing the pain with too much work
I really like the idea of surrounding my self with people, especially friends and close family members...
just ride the wave
ride the wave!

-----
sorry for how shaky I am with the subject, its the first time in my life that I am in a black hole, I just don't know what to say!

The Song I Want In My Funeral/ I'm back

Nicole Saba - Tab3y Keda

what brought this up? i dont know, but this song really says what i feel!

-_-_-_-_-_-

I am back, thanks for the emails, thanks for the nudges, and most of all for your support, i'll be posting topics again, starting with "Loss", i wrote it yesterday and i'll post it in no time.