Sorry/Merry Xmass/The Shit!

sorry i havent been posting you guys, i had so many mid-terms!

jesus moses allah god mohammad! they were plenty!

i was on overdirve and redbull overdose!

i was like a severe adhd with too much carb input! - remind me to tell you about some i dated who had adhd! -, any way i'mma post some stuff now :d!



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Merry Xmass Yallllllll!!!

gonna be having xmass dinner at DJ friend ahmed... siging xmass carols and teasing our guests with a preview of the remixes we made for the "absolute" new years party hosted by Absolute vodka, info is hooked here later!

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Now for the main topic.... THE SHIT! *SNAP SNAP*



so, i dont really go all high maintenance on my ass, i mean i wake up, get whatever's clean on the shelf, wear it, and leave the house...

i over shower and over brush my teeth though, i'm super clean but i dont bleach, tweese, pluck and shave 24 hours a day... i shave once a week and thats it!

but if i have finals i tend to let go of my beard... let ot go in alllll directions possible, but i still look decent... i mean... you know johny dep when he's all beardy and scary like, you can see traces of good looks down there eh?

ohhh fuck off, i can see u smirking abou the johny depp thing, i can look better than him, i mean... with the right look and all... i guess... i hope :S



any way!!



so i went to the oral histology lab and mind you, its officially begings at 12:25 pm, but the doctors dont come until 1:00 pm, it has been like that for the past 5 weeks, so we all get in in about 12:55 or 50....



so this week, the head doctor, the teacher's assistant is what they call this kind of person in the "biz"! was giving the lecture instead of the other female doc who always gives the class, so he began at 12:45...
i arrived at 12:55 exactly, i knocked and came in, i requested an entry, he said "your here now? did you want us to wait for your *highness*?" then he continued adressing the class.

i sucked it up coz god knows if i didnt i would bring this shit down on lil' miss thang over there, so i requested to go in again, and i explained that this class always starts at 1 pm, he jumped all up in my business and said "its not my problem i start at 12:45, now its 1 pm" then he went back adressing the class.

i was like HELL TO THE NO!

now i had a run in with that piece of shit before, last year, i was sitting at the back of the class coz i was downing too many stingers the night before, so... u guys know the drill!
so he was asking the student up in the front row about something and then he asked me, i said i didnt know and he said "you know you think your too good looking and that the world revolves around your hair, just becuase you think your hot that doesnt mean you are"...

i didnt answer i gave him a dirty look, he git all purple and green, the student looked at him with disgrace some luaghed and giggled at him, a kid mummbled "what does his looks have to do with the class"

i starred him down.
i didnt say a word, and i thought about it.
you are commenting on my looks and telling me i look ugly?
you're a 300 pounds, triple chinned, truck tire lipped enlarged todler, your nose is extremly suitable to become an air plane landing slide, it wont be a hard task braiding your nose hair since its longer than your own over gelled wet hair, i think i heard the echo of a couple of kids from your jumbo ears, i hope no one is lost in there, you have 7 boobs, each boob has a baby boob of its own, for all i'm concerned you might be a serial killer who hides his victims between the folds of his skin, and you are telling me i am ugly?
bitch please!
you are 300 pounds of genetically modefied crap!
extra body, extra volume and extra smell BABY!

just becuase i didnt answer you academic question that doesnt give you the right to comment on me socially... that is not your business!

now that piece of shit didn't comment or look me in the eye again, but damn is he waiting for me to slip!

over questioning and putting his nose in almost everything!
wtf? get a life cunt, don't mooch over ours!
and you know whats the stinger in this whole extravaganza?
he thinks he's hot!
i wont go on with this, you think about it!

I'm Sorry

i'm sorry for you being sad...
i'm sorry for you not having enough money...
i'm sorry for you being frustrated...
and for you being depressed and lonely...
i'm so sorry for you not having what you always wanted...
and for you not feeling beautiful...
for you because you aren't in love with the one you say you love...
and for you for being so ashamed of yourself...
i'm sorry for you cheating on the one you love...
and i am very sorry for you cheating on yourself...
i'm sorry for you having small breasts...
i'm sorry for you getting a divorce...
i'm sorry for you and your children for not getting any education...
and i am sorry for them too because they wont eat tomorrow...
i am sorry that you have cancer...
i am so sorry that she died more sorry that your father is dying...

Most of all i am very sorry for me...
I Am Sorry... Very Sorry For Me...

i'm sorry, I AM SO Sorry!

in my short life, I've met allot of people, seen, heard, talked and for sure loved, allot of people.
I was also hurt by the people I've met, most of them if not all of them hurt me once or twice, wither they hurt me by a word, a gesture, a conversation behind my back or even a look, I was hurt by most if not all of the people I met...

some people did not know that they've hurt me, so i didnt hear something from them, but some knew that they did, but not all of them said it.
I am sorry...

does it work? yes, it does, but is it enough?
you see when someone hurts you very bad, that it might cause depression for a week or two, when someone hurts you very bad, that you might consider a drastic change in life, when they hurt you so bad, that you turn into a sock on the floor, useless, i mean what can you do with one sock? except for maybe stuff it with sand and make a useless make believe puppet out of it, at that time, at that moment, and in that intensity, does sorry really work?

i've heard sorry for so many times, it just stopped working on me, now i need a gesture to really forgive someone...

i might need a hug, a kiss, a promise sometimes a small little look, because the word sorry is just warren out, sorry alone doesnt mean anything to me.
when i hurt someone, i stay days, maybe weeks tormenting myself about it, and the people who've met me, the people who've really gotten to know me noticed that when i hurt some one i get obsessed in trying to make it up for them, not just by a word, not just by sorry, because sorry alone is not enough!

its not enough, it needs real feelings, real meaning, real moments, it needs to be intense so you would be forgiven, so you would feel it, so you could feel it for real, so real in fact you might never hurt any one again, because only when you feel sorry, you realize how horrible it is to hurt someone.