each time i wrote, i had one more last thing to write, each time i said a word, i had one more last thing to say.
i had too much built in, i wanted to talk, i wanted to say whats wrong, i wanted to scream and say i was going crazy, i litrally thought i was crazy.
all i wanted is to hurt someone so bad that they'll forget their names and remember mine instead.
i had too much built in...
i tried talking to my friends and all they gave was the "its all going to be ok sweety" with the look of "dramatic much?" in their eyes.
i lost touch with many people, i've stopped being friends with allot of people, i gained the friendship of one or two, but i renewed and revived the friendship of one person, and honestly... it was worth it.
i didnt know how to begin, and i sure didnt know how to end or what to end with...
i lost track of who i am and what i meant to myself.
even when i looked in the mirror, i noticed that i've changed, i started to look worse...
my skin was dry out of life... i looked like a corpse... pale...
my hair got in touch with my depression, my eyes decided to tell everyone about my sleeping habbits and about the joy rides i took, my body numbed by all what that word means, no more come hither...
as the days passed by nothing resonated but the echo of emptyness...
i've reached the point where i've become nothing.
now i'm irrelevant to myself, trying to regain and sustain, hoping to go back and what i was and aim for a better version of myself.
i'm writing again but i dont know concentrate...
i hope you understand, i hope that you're not mad at me for not replying at your emails, i just needed time, and now... i'm going to post again, hoping to regain what ever sense i had, hoping to recognize myself and evolve.
