sex
oral sex, vaginal sex, anal sex, straight sex gay sex, bisexual sex, one-on-one sex, threesomes, foursomes, orgies, sex toys, dildoes and anemas! every one is obsessed with sex!every one wants sex, every one wants to get some, every one wants to get laid, i really dont know where the days of just cuddling went?i really miss romance, a delicate kiss, an i miss you, i really honestly miss the tender delicate touch on my cheack, i truely madly deeply miss the feeling of serenty when i am in my lovers arms, i just do!
are we a fucking generation?i mean it could be possible, we had romantic centeries, why not a "anal-sex-anaimal-like-on-the-floor-fucking" generation, oh god! please dont make it a frikin century!Ahhh! never mind who cares?i mean who gives a fuck!you people wanna fuck like rabits and leave romance alone, go ahead!go FUCK!
why are you an artist salman?
because i, i feel angry, and it itches, it makes me want to scream...because i like beauty, and how it feels, i love it when i feel beautiful, even though it comes once a year, but i love it...because i am sad and grief is a not a guest but a dear friend to my heart...because i am tiered, and it helps me be more tired to when i am all done, i sleep...because when i saw how long were those red locks of hair i cried i wanted to smell your hair, i really want to...because i want to wear a ridiculous pants that have bells on them, and run to you then land in your arms...because i love it when you say i am cute...because i want to be kind, sweet and generous...because i want to die in the winter, while it rains...i love it when it rains...please let it rain...
why is bad .... sexy?
"Whats the fun in playing it safe?
I think I rather mess-behave..." Bitter:sweet - Dirty Laundry.
I am known to be moody, sarcastic, loud, sharp toned, sometimes sensitive, cute and maybe a poser sometimes...
But these days I am looking at the dark side, and I started thinking, what's so appealing about the dark side?
Even in movies, the bad man was the good girls instant orgasm, the bad girl was the seductive witch and all men wanted her.
Yes in some stories the good people were the beautiful, but rarely taking the "Sexy" role...
Back to our topic, I started to look bad, in a good way of course, with a jet black hair to match my shoes and v-neck shirt, denim jeans, fake police sun glasses - no one could tell they were fake -, dirty beard, and marched to my university.
Every one was looking; every one told me I looked hot, seductive, mysterious...
One thing was missing though, why wasn't I hot, seductive and mysterious when I wore a white t-shirt, with regular jeans and nice Nike's?
looking and being bad is sexy to allot of people, but I didn't feel like its me, I mean that look might be fun for a few days, but then, I would like to be me, the usual fun loving, crazy, sweet, sensitive guy..
I know I am boosting my levels up, too cocky perhaps, but why fake my looks to make people like me?
Why is "bad" so sexy, I just want to know!
I couldn't help but wonder...
Was it because we are into the rough edges of a bad person?
Was it because bad people get to do what ever they wanted without any one telling them not to?
Or was it because we are afraid of them? The bad people and the things we want to do!
Why is bad... sexy?
I think I rather mess-behave..." Bitter:sweet - Dirty Laundry.
I am known to be moody, sarcastic, loud, sharp toned, sometimes sensitive, cute and maybe a poser sometimes...
But these days I am looking at the dark side, and I started thinking, what's so appealing about the dark side?
Even in movies, the bad man was the good girls instant orgasm, the bad girl was the seductive witch and all men wanted her.
Yes in some stories the good people were the beautiful, but rarely taking the "Sexy" role...
Back to our topic, I started to look bad, in a good way of course, with a jet black hair to match my shoes and v-neck shirt, denim jeans, fake police sun glasses - no one could tell they were fake -, dirty beard, and marched to my university.
Every one was looking; every one told me I looked hot, seductive, mysterious...
One thing was missing though, why wasn't I hot, seductive and mysterious when I wore a white t-shirt, with regular jeans and nice Nike's?
looking and being bad is sexy to allot of people, but I didn't feel like its me, I mean that look might be fun for a few days, but then, I would like to be me, the usual fun loving, crazy, sweet, sensitive guy..
I know I am boosting my levels up, too cocky perhaps, but why fake my looks to make people like me?
Why is "bad" so sexy, I just want to know!
I couldn't help but wonder...
Was it because we are into the rough edges of a bad person?
Was it because bad people get to do what ever they wanted without any one telling them not to?
Or was it because we are afraid of them? The bad people and the things we want to do!
Why is bad... sexy?
scraps...
Its not my country…
its not how I pictured it…
a 4x4 room, with a small bathroom, insects took this place, invested in it, and called it home…
its bellow ground zero, bellow streets level, so no fresh air at all and even though I keep on cleaning it, it doesn’t seem to get clean…
there is no one like me here, and no one who likes me here, no one who knows how funny, smart, educated and well brought up I am, or even how caring sensitive and considerate…
I'm trapped in this city of silence, where boredom is a best friend, I no longer write, I think I forgot how to writ, I don’t really know, I am really filled with so much hatred that my mind pauses when ever I grab my pen, it just doesn’t talk, the pen I mean, it used to move by itself…
I started new friendships, and started having problems, with those new friendships I mean, I couldn’t help but wonder…
Why do we curse the state of being lonely, if we get trouble from being social?
Why do we face numerous accusations of being "yellow", mean and malignant when we are in fact careful and afraid?
I couldn’t help but wonder, why does reality always slaps us in the face when we create expectations?
Also, I would like to know…
Or wait, now I know..
Its not the people that have something wrong with them…
Its me!
its not how I pictured it…
a 4x4 room, with a small bathroom, insects took this place, invested in it, and called it home…
its bellow ground zero, bellow streets level, so no fresh air at all and even though I keep on cleaning it, it doesn’t seem to get clean…
there is no one like me here, and no one who likes me here, no one who knows how funny, smart, educated and well brought up I am, or even how caring sensitive and considerate…
I'm trapped in this city of silence, where boredom is a best friend, I no longer write, I think I forgot how to writ, I don’t really know, I am really filled with so much hatred that my mind pauses when ever I grab my pen, it just doesn’t talk, the pen I mean, it used to move by itself…
I started new friendships, and started having problems, with those new friendships I mean, I couldn’t help but wonder…
Why do we curse the state of being lonely, if we get trouble from being social?
Why do we face numerous accusations of being "yellow", mean and malignant when we are in fact careful and afraid?
I couldn’t help but wonder, why does reality always slaps us in the face when we create expectations?
Also, I would like to know…
Or wait, now I know..
Its not the people that have something wrong with them…
Its me!
kel 3am wenta b5air, o0 308bal el alf kaf
عشرين تسعه, عشرين سبتمبر, يوم عادي بالنسبه للبعض, يوم مثير, يوم سعيد, او حتى حزين , كل يرى الايام بعين طبعة المهم, هذا اليوم, هو عيد ميلاد "الحب" اللي دايما ماخذ بالي, وقبل هاليوم يمكن بشهر, وانا اودر واحط واعدل وارتب, واختار هدية مناسبة, وحلوه, يعني, على قد المقام ادري, لان انا مو من الناس اللي حسابهم فيه اكثر من صفرين, المهم, ما لقيت شي يسوى, او بالاصح, شي يسوى بالمبلغ البسيط اللي عندي, ويا يوم السفر, اللي كان خمسه سبتمبر او شي جذي ما اذكر بالضبط, فرحت وسافرت ووصلت, وانا في بالي شي واحد, ما زهبت شي!ـ
المهم بعد مده طويله, واكثر من غرض اشتريتهم وتوهقت لاني قلت لا المفروض شي احسن او احلى, يا يوم عشرين سبتمبر, واتصلت الساعه 12 نص الليل اول ما بدى اليوم, علشان اكون اول واحد قدم تهنأه في نفس اليوم, اتصلت, اشلوونك الحب؟ شخبارك؟ مشتاق لك! مزهب لك مفاجأه!ـ
وياني الرد الصاعق – هذي الصاعق سامعها لالتلفزيون – " محد يعرف اييب هدايا, الا *****, وانا شخص عندي كل شي, فما اتوقع انك تييب لي شي مو عندي"ـ
كل عام وانت بخير حبيبي Sollai وعقبال الالف!
ويبقى السؤال الاخير اللي لازم تسأله لنفسك, ليش في ناس ما تفهم؟ـ
المهم بعد مده طويله, واكثر من غرض اشتريتهم وتوهقت لاني قلت لا المفروض شي احسن او احلى, يا يوم عشرين سبتمبر, واتصلت الساعه 12 نص الليل اول ما بدى اليوم, علشان اكون اول واحد قدم تهنأه في نفس اليوم, اتصلت, اشلوونك الحب؟ شخبارك؟ مشتاق لك! مزهب لك مفاجأه!ـ
وياني الرد الصاعق – هذي الصاعق سامعها لالتلفزيون – " محد يعرف اييب هدايا, الا *****, وانا شخص عندي كل شي, فما اتوقع انك تييب لي شي مو عندي"ـ
كل عام وانت بخير حبيبي Sollai وعقبال الالف!
ويبقى السؤال الاخير اللي لازم تسأله لنفسك, ليش في ناس ما تفهم؟ـ
Where Do You Want To Die?
Some people, actually a lot of people shiver and trample when they hear about death, but some are brave enough to talk about it, I want to keep this topic short, so here it goes, where do you want to die?
I heard the beautiful Dalida, sing this song "Mourir Sur Scène", which means I want to die on stage, see, Dalida knew where she wanted to die, Dalida said she was born on that stage, when the curtain was up, her childhood began, when the lights were on, she became a woman, and she died when the curtains fell.
See I envy Dalida, she knew where she wanted to die, and she gave her life away, when she knew she couldn’t be certain she will die on it.
I don’t know for sure where I want to die, but one of my greatest fears is to die alone, that’s why I always stayed in bad relationships, kept bad friends, you know, so I wont die in an empty room, on a cold bed, with thick air, dark lights, no that’s not where I want to die!
Neither in a hospital, with an even colder metal bed, everything is white, faking the tunnel to heaven, with peeping machines, ringing the alarm, telling every one he is going under, with that smell, that clean sick smell, and the ironic effort of most of the doctors to save me, even though most of them cant save them selves!
I don’t know where do I want to die, i dont have to know, all i know is, if i die somewhere with someone i love, i would be glad, happy and satisfied!
I heard the beautiful Dalida, sing this song "Mourir Sur Scène", which means I want to die on stage, see, Dalida knew where she wanted to die, Dalida said she was born on that stage, when the curtain was up, her childhood began, when the lights were on, she became a woman, and she died when the curtains fell.
See I envy Dalida, she knew where she wanted to die, and she gave her life away, when she knew she couldn’t be certain she will die on it.
I don’t know for sure where I want to die, but one of my greatest fears is to die alone, that’s why I always stayed in bad relationships, kept bad friends, you know, so I wont die in an empty room, on a cold bed, with thick air, dark lights, no that’s not where I want to die!
Neither in a hospital, with an even colder metal bed, everything is white, faking the tunnel to heaven, with peeping machines, ringing the alarm, telling every one he is going under, with that smell, that clean sick smell, and the ironic effort of most of the doctors to save me, even though most of them cant save them selves!
I don’t know where do I want to die, i dont have to know, all i know is, if i die somewhere with someone i love, i would be glad, happy and satisfied!
what kind of coffee are you?
You know, up until those numerous brands of coffee shops opened, coffee wasn’t really that big of a deal! You see, people met for drinks, juice, gelato, what ever! But they simply met, it's just in the past few years, coffee, became the number one drink, every one wanted coffee, that’s what I feel, at least, what I feel happened in Kuwait, so I asked myself, myself, what kind of coffee are you?
I always thought of myself as a regular coffee kind of guy, you see I always order the same thing, black coffee, I simply put some sugar in it, so its not so sweet or bitter, its just in the middle, I take it with a biscotti, and believe me I just knew its called a biscotti, I used to call it sweet dry pound cake, or I take it with a small chocolaty thingy.
Any way, that’s who I am, regular black coffee, with some sugar in it, now there is some people, oh! Wait, a lot of people whop might disagree, some might say I am a Mexican coffee, all spicy and bitter, some might say I am French coffee, sweet and tingly, some might say I am caramel drizzled coffee, I don’t care, as long as I think I am a black coffee, then I am a black coffee, because black coffee is always there for you when you need it, it tastes good, and its very romantic, we always see lovers drinking coffee in movies, black coffee, and there is a song called cup of coffee by this band, my favorite band "garbage", it talks about the last cup of coffee they shared.
Now, the question is, what kind of coffee are you, why, and what does it resemble?!
I would love to know!
I always thought of myself as a regular coffee kind of guy, you see I always order the same thing, black coffee, I simply put some sugar in it, so its not so sweet or bitter, its just in the middle, I take it with a biscotti, and believe me I just knew its called a biscotti, I used to call it sweet dry pound cake, or I take it with a small chocolaty thingy.
Any way, that’s who I am, regular black coffee, with some sugar in it, now there is some people, oh! Wait, a lot of people whop might disagree, some might say I am a Mexican coffee, all spicy and bitter, some might say I am French coffee, sweet and tingly, some might say I am caramel drizzled coffee, I don’t care, as long as I think I am a black coffee, then I am a black coffee, because black coffee is always there for you when you need it, it tastes good, and its very romantic, we always see lovers drinking coffee in movies, black coffee, and there is a song called cup of coffee by this band, my favorite band "garbage", it talks about the last cup of coffee they shared.
Now, the question is, what kind of coffee are you, why, and what does it resemble?!
I would love to know!
Madre Laysh?!
دايما يسالني هالسؤال... وبما إني مغرور... وعندي إيمان خاطئ بإني أعرف كل شي... أعصب... لأن ما عندي إجابة... أو بالأصح عندي ألف لإجابة....
سلمان ليش تحبني؟
ما يدري, ان دنيتي من دونه سراب, ما يدري...ان في حياتي مر حب, لكن حب نفس حبه ما مر....
الكل يقول " سلمان إنت ما تعرف الحب" واهو من ضمنهم.
شلون ما اعرف الحب, وانا احبه؟ شلون ما اعرف الحب وانا متمسك فيه مع انه اكبر غلط؟ شلون؟
احس ساعات اني استغله لما اشووف طيبته وياي, احس ساعات انه يستغلني لما يهملني, او لما يكون على طبيعته ويقول لي كلمه تزعجني او "تغثني" او تجرحني, بحكم الميانه طبعا, لكن انا بطبيعتي الرومانسيه, طوول الوقت أبي أنحب, ابي انلم, ابي ينقال لي " أحبك " بس هااا, مواي أحبك, أبيها بالنغمة اللي تريح القلب,مو اللي تعله.
مادري ليش أحبه!
بس مو من عادتي اني اخلي شي ما اعرفه جذي, لازم ادور إجابات!
يعني مادري ليش احبه, بس ... يمكن لانه يحبني؟ يمكن لانه يغليني؟ - مع ان الغلا كله عنده – يمكن لانه يخاف علي, يحميني من كل شي, ما عمري احتجت شي الا واهو مجهزه قبل لا اقووله, يمكن علشان جذي؟
او يمكن لاني ما عمري شفت احد جذي, ينرفزني, يطفرني, يغثني!
بس هم اكون اسعد الناس لما اكون وياه
تدرون, ساعات ناس وااااااايد يتحرشون فيني, يحاولون يطفروني, بس مهما قالوا ما اهتم, يعني... ما يمر كلامهم الا مرور الكرام, بس جذي, حجي...
اما اهو؟ لاااا! ما يقول كلمه, الا وافسرها الف تفسير ...
ما ادري ليش, احس انه قطعه مني, والحين هالقطعه غابت...
مادري ليش... احس انه يفهمني...
بس اوقاته راحت... بس ذكرياته اللي ضلت...
او بالاصح...
انا اللي رحب وخذت صورته وياي...
خذت ذكرياته وياي...
وخايته اهو بكبره!
ويا ليتني ما خليته!
سلمان ليش تحبني؟
ما يدري, ان دنيتي من دونه سراب, ما يدري...ان في حياتي مر حب, لكن حب نفس حبه ما مر....
الكل يقول " سلمان إنت ما تعرف الحب" واهو من ضمنهم.
شلون ما اعرف الحب, وانا احبه؟ شلون ما اعرف الحب وانا متمسك فيه مع انه اكبر غلط؟ شلون؟
احس ساعات اني استغله لما اشووف طيبته وياي, احس ساعات انه يستغلني لما يهملني, او لما يكون على طبيعته ويقول لي كلمه تزعجني او "تغثني" او تجرحني, بحكم الميانه طبعا, لكن انا بطبيعتي الرومانسيه, طوول الوقت أبي أنحب, ابي انلم, ابي ينقال لي " أحبك " بس هااا, مواي أحبك, أبيها بالنغمة اللي تريح القلب,مو اللي تعله.
مادري ليش أحبه!
بس مو من عادتي اني اخلي شي ما اعرفه جذي, لازم ادور إجابات!
يعني مادري ليش احبه, بس ... يمكن لانه يحبني؟ يمكن لانه يغليني؟ - مع ان الغلا كله عنده – يمكن لانه يخاف علي, يحميني من كل شي, ما عمري احتجت شي الا واهو مجهزه قبل لا اقووله, يمكن علشان جذي؟
او يمكن لاني ما عمري شفت احد جذي, ينرفزني, يطفرني, يغثني!
بس هم اكون اسعد الناس لما اكون وياه
تدرون, ساعات ناس وااااااايد يتحرشون فيني, يحاولون يطفروني, بس مهما قالوا ما اهتم, يعني... ما يمر كلامهم الا مرور الكرام, بس جذي, حجي...
اما اهو؟ لاااا! ما يقول كلمه, الا وافسرها الف تفسير ...
ما ادري ليش, احس انه قطعه مني, والحين هالقطعه غابت...
مادري ليش... احس انه يفهمني...
بس اوقاته راحت... بس ذكرياته اللي ضلت...
او بالاصح...
انا اللي رحب وخذت صورته وياي...
خذت ذكرياته وياي...
وخايته اهو بكبره!
ويا ليتني ما خليته!
the funnies thing i realized these days
As I got on the air plane, I felt an electric bolt running through my body, it caused me to feel like a lost wreck in the deepest sea, I realized something, it's an un-usual thing to realize, quite surprising one might say, but it was true.
I realized something, and it wasn’t that I am going to be trained to occupy my future job with excellence, it wasn’t that I am going to be on my own for the first time, no it isn’t, I was forced to take a pause and realize, I am no longer desired!
You see, I was always on call, people called me from around the world, people in Kuwait called me so I could get together with them, people outside of Kuwait called me to say that they are coming to Kuwait, that I should book them some space, I was always on the phone with some one, always talking about going out, being *FRIENDS*, doing what *FRIENDS* do.
But when I told every one that I am leaving, the answer I got is "have a safe trip, be safe", only a few wanted me to say goodbye properly, only a few wanted to see me, and yes I have to admit, and be true to myself, many have said "lets see you before you leave", but I knew they didn’t mean it, they did not want anything to do with a goner, no one could get what they wanted from me, and they realized that when I told them I was leaving, and you might say, Sollai, be fair now, they asked to see you, but I've been lying most of my life, and I am considered a professional liar, so I know when some one is lying, which gives me the ability to bust any one whose faking it.
I am thankful though, now I know to whom I matter, and if you know me well, you would know that I always wondered who my real friends were, and how could I judge.
Now you might say, some people can't make it, you left at noon, you left at 12:30 pm, we have jobs they have jobs, they can't all see you or say goodbye at the air port, and you might Sollai, you told us when you got the news, you told us a day before you traveled, we all were either busy, or away some where, I know that makes sense, but I could tell if you really wanted to see me or not, I could tell from your tone, I could tell, my intuition works sometimes, and the day before I left it was on, and it only picked up three or four signals of true feelings, and countless beeps on the liars radar.
I got in the air plane, a boring flight, a scary landing, a nice Bulgarian flight attendant, and I forgot, it was an empty plane with weird few passengers, nothing else to say though, except maybe that I had a tasteless rubbery chicken, and it took me half an hour to get all my bags.
Now I won't ask questions, I won't wonder, I am in a foreign country now, it's my first day, it’s a new story, it’s a whole new issue, a whole new topic, just let me breathe a little bit and I will tell you what happened later!
I realized something, and it wasn’t that I am going to be trained to occupy my future job with excellence, it wasn’t that I am going to be on my own for the first time, no it isn’t, I was forced to take a pause and realize, I am no longer desired!
You see, I was always on call, people called me from around the world, people in Kuwait called me so I could get together with them, people outside of Kuwait called me to say that they are coming to Kuwait, that I should book them some space, I was always on the phone with some one, always talking about going out, being *FRIENDS*, doing what *FRIENDS* do.
But when I told every one that I am leaving, the answer I got is "have a safe trip, be safe", only a few wanted me to say goodbye properly, only a few wanted to see me, and yes I have to admit, and be true to myself, many have said "lets see you before you leave", but I knew they didn’t mean it, they did not want anything to do with a goner, no one could get what they wanted from me, and they realized that when I told them I was leaving, and you might say, Sollai, be fair now, they asked to see you, but I've been lying most of my life, and I am considered a professional liar, so I know when some one is lying, which gives me the ability to bust any one whose faking it.
I am thankful though, now I know to whom I matter, and if you know me well, you would know that I always wondered who my real friends were, and how could I judge.
Now you might say, some people can't make it, you left at noon, you left at 12:30 pm, we have jobs they have jobs, they can't all see you or say goodbye at the air port, and you might Sollai, you told us when you got the news, you told us a day before you traveled, we all were either busy, or away some where, I know that makes sense, but I could tell if you really wanted to see me or not, I could tell from your tone, I could tell, my intuition works sometimes, and the day before I left it was on, and it only picked up three or four signals of true feelings, and countless beeps on the liars radar.
I got in the air plane, a boring flight, a scary landing, a nice Bulgarian flight attendant, and I forgot, it was an empty plane with weird few passengers, nothing else to say though, except maybe that I had a tasteless rubbery chicken, and it took me half an hour to get all my bags.
Now I won't ask questions, I won't wonder, I am in a foreign country now, it's my first day, it’s a new story, it’s a whole new issue, a whole new topic, just let me breathe a little bit and I will tell you what happened later!
Un-Identified Void
Empty, alone, scared, it was strange, I am used to those feelings, but I am not used to this….. (Sept. 11th 3 Am, Kuwait, My Bed)
What is this? What am I feeling? I can not put a finger on it, I felt this void, eating me out, like an inner black hole, I felt all the aspects of my personality disappear, I was no longer positive about life, no longer questioning it, excited about it, or even curious.
I don't know how to describe it, but I know what's causing it…
Me leaving… to Egypt, to study, to become what I always dreamed of becoming, a dentist.
What scares me the most is that I am leaving my heart in Kuwait, leaving on a jet plane, to be alone, I couldn’t bare that thought, how can one live without their hearts?
Leaving, I always dreamt of being independent, I hated being told what to do, how to do it, what to feel and how to feel, I always resented that, and I always felt it is simply condescending, and utterly disrespecting to me, still even though I am going to be my own man, I was going to be alone.
I had a question just now, I cant believe that I am being myself again, but that’s a good thing.
My question is, why does every thing we want, has a catch hidden into it?
Why do we have to suffer, even when we get what we want, what we always wanted and what we always dreamed of?
Why, why damn it!
Why do we contradict ourselves in one way or another regarding what we want?
Friendship Goes Out Of Fashion
Friendship Goes Out Of Fashion…
I once, heck I'd be lying if I said once, I numerously met people online, who said that they became closer to me, became my friends, talked to me for hours and hours on the phone, and then just after a period of time, they stopped calling me, talking to me, returning or returning my messages.
Now, I've heard a lot of excuses, but there is this one guy, this particular guy that I wrote an article about him in my blog – lost of convictions – who stopped his connection with me, just a plain disconnection, he had told me before that he had done this move on a particular guy who did him wrong once, but what I can't recall me doing him any harm, so since wondering is a full time job, I started to wonder, why did he disconnect me, why did he stop returning my calls, why did he block me on msn – I have this program, it tells me who blocked me – on most importantly. Why did he do the same exact move, that he always, always! Told me not to do, or use on a friend?
I began to wonder, was it because I am rude sometimes, or most of the times? Was it because in our conversations I always got mad, and he wasn’t allowed to get mad, - ps mad as in stood guard of my opinion -, was it because I had a dark or a sick sense of humor – may I say that he always told me he liked it! -, was it because I am rough in certain situations, or because I lie about my feelings sometimes, perhaps its because that I am moody, because I talk about sex too much, maybe it is because I space out and act like I live anywhere but Kuwait?
I kept on wondering, and the more I wonder the more RED, I become, now you might say Sollai, you mean blue! But as the divine Audrey Hebron said in breakfast at tiffany's " the blues is when you feel that you're a little fat or so… " that’s the blues, but the red, oh my! Its when you're afraid of something you don't know, like am I to face the problem I had with this guy, with more friends, wither its my male or female friends, am I going to face this again?
I mean is that it?
Is that all there is?
What kills me the most that "its" Unresolved, and when I say it's, I refer to the unknown state I have between my friend and I, is it a problem, is it a hiatus? OR is there a problem at all?
Where ever we go in the world, we crash into people, and then we - as humans - get a chance or two to resolve or issues with them, wither they are old friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, husbands, wives, or what ever, we just get the chance... what I am wondering about right now is, why don't I seem to get that chance, the chance to resolve my issues...
Why did our friendship go out of fashion?
Does it happen! Do friendships go out of fashion?
Why didn’t I get a chance to know if there were issues?
Why didn’t I get the chance to resolve those issues?
Once again I am slapped on the face, once again, I trusted the wrong person to be my friend!
Once again, I was proven wrong!
I once, heck I'd be lying if I said once, I numerously met people online, who said that they became closer to me, became my friends, talked to me for hours and hours on the phone, and then just after a period of time, they stopped calling me, talking to me, returning or returning my messages.
Now, I've heard a lot of excuses, but there is this one guy, this particular guy that I wrote an article about him in my blog – lost of convictions – who stopped his connection with me, just a plain disconnection, he had told me before that he had done this move on a particular guy who did him wrong once, but what I can't recall me doing him any harm, so since wondering is a full time job, I started to wonder, why did he disconnect me, why did he stop returning my calls, why did he block me on msn – I have this program, it tells me who blocked me – on most importantly. Why did he do the same exact move, that he always, always! Told me not to do, or use on a friend?
I began to wonder, was it because I am rude sometimes, or most of the times? Was it because in our conversations I always got mad, and he wasn’t allowed to get mad, - ps mad as in stood guard of my opinion -, was it because I had a dark or a sick sense of humor – may I say that he always told me he liked it! -, was it because I am rough in certain situations, or because I lie about my feelings sometimes, perhaps its because that I am moody, because I talk about sex too much, maybe it is because I space out and act like I live anywhere but Kuwait?
I kept on wondering, and the more I wonder the more RED, I become, now you might say Sollai, you mean blue! But as the divine Audrey Hebron said in breakfast at tiffany's " the blues is when you feel that you're a little fat or so… " that’s the blues, but the red, oh my! Its when you're afraid of something you don't know, like am I to face the problem I had with this guy, with more friends, wither its my male or female friends, am I going to face this again?
I mean is that it?
Is that all there is?
What kills me the most that "its" Unresolved, and when I say it's, I refer to the unknown state I have between my friend and I, is it a problem, is it a hiatus? OR is there a problem at all?
Where ever we go in the world, we crash into people, and then we - as humans - get a chance or two to resolve or issues with them, wither they are old friends, girlfriends, boyfriends, lovers, husbands, wives, or what ever, we just get the chance... what I am wondering about right now is, why don't I seem to get that chance, the chance to resolve my issues...
Why did our friendship go out of fashion?
Does it happen! Do friendships go out of fashion?
Why didn’t I get a chance to know if there were issues?
Why didn’t I get the chance to resolve those issues?
Once again I am slapped on the face, once again, I trusted the wrong person to be my friend!
Once again, I was proven wrong!
2think my way
People always tell me "stop thinking, you think too much!"
What does it mean?
I really don’t know!
You see I am one of those "Not So Few" people who think 24/7; I sleep around 5 hours a day, I always panic, whether its about what do I want to be or major at, or whether I want strawberry sauce or berry sauce on my cheese cake, I simply panic, I always "what if" myself, I always wonder, I think so much, that when I was 16 I went to a private doctor to put me through a full physical test so I could know why I sleep few hours a day, and I if I slept more I don’t feel well and may get sick, guess what was the answer?
My brain functions while I sleep, you see normal people, there subconscious work while they sleep, but in my case, my fucked up, over powered, jumpy and extremely hyper conscious.
Any way, this is my nature, I think, but why do people tell me not to think?
Yes, thinking makes me dramatic sometimes; it also makes me angry, sad, and emotional, it causes me to lie and some times even gets me into deep depressions, still that’s who I am! A thinker!
Now my darling little wonderers, you might wonder, we also think but we aren’t as dramatic as you sir!
Well! What I classifies as thinking in my dictionary, is excessive thinking in yours, still, I can't stop thinking!
And when people tell me to stop thinking, I think about how I stop thinking!
Oh My God, does it end?
Why do I think too much?
What does it mean?
I really don’t know!
You see I am one of those "Not So Few" people who think 24/7; I sleep around 5 hours a day, I always panic, whether its about what do I want to be or major at, or whether I want strawberry sauce or berry sauce on my cheese cake, I simply panic, I always "what if" myself, I always wonder, I think so much, that when I was 16 I went to a private doctor to put me through a full physical test so I could know why I sleep few hours a day, and I if I slept more I don’t feel well and may get sick, guess what was the answer?
My brain functions while I sleep, you see normal people, there subconscious work while they sleep, but in my case, my fucked up, over powered, jumpy and extremely hyper conscious.
Any way, this is my nature, I think, but why do people tell me not to think?
Yes, thinking makes me dramatic sometimes; it also makes me angry, sad, and emotional, it causes me to lie and some times even gets me into deep depressions, still that’s who I am! A thinker!
Now my darling little wonderers, you might wonder, we also think but we aren’t as dramatic as you sir!
Well! What I classifies as thinking in my dictionary, is excessive thinking in yours, still, I can't stop thinking!
And when people tell me to stop thinking, I think about how I stop thinking!
Oh My God, does it end?
Why do I think too much?
wont get me again
They can't hear…
They can't see…
They can't feel…
You…
Haunting me …
I can run…
I can hide…
But I won't be safe…
You're all over me…
Time has passed…
The echo of your laughs…
Became a sad dirge…
We were free…
Happy to be…
One…
To emerge…
Now you've morphed…
Changed your skin…
Became a monster…
I'm lost…
I need to break free…
I'll never give in…
You'll never be my master…
I'll keep on running…
And you won't get to me again…
They can't see…
They can't feel…
You…
Haunting me …
I can run…
I can hide…
But I won't be safe…
You're all over me…
Time has passed…
The echo of your laughs…
Became a sad dirge…
We were free…
Happy to be…
One…
To emerge…
Now you've morphed…
Changed your skin…
Became a monster…
I'm lost…
I need to break free…
I'll never give in…
You'll never be my master…
I'll keep on running…
And you won't get to me again…
luv u with half of my heart!
How many people could one person love?
Is it possible that one might love two?
Three? Or perhaps four just like our religion – Islam – says?
I once dated a bisexual girl, she said she loves me after a month from our first date, with her standing at the age of 18 at that time; it didn’t surprise me much, even though I was only 16.
She said that she loved me, but she also loved her X-girlfriend, it took me by surprise, didn’t understand what she said, or what she mean by what she said, maybe because I was only 16, maybe because I was mainly controlled by my balls, even though till this time, my balls still control a hell of a lot of my behavior.
Now! I'm headed to the scary age of 18, I am in a very successful relationship, I have good friends, and I am admiring life, even though she keeps on spitting on me, and treating me like shit, but still, when she was good to me I haven’t thanked god, so I better be thankful any way so god would make everything better.
I love you with all my heart, said the love of my life, this might sound quite normal, actually it is perfectly normal if it wasn’t for the fact that the past relationship of his, hasn’t end yet, that still feeling of love, bonds the two of them, the cherry on top is that the "I love you" each other.
It hadn’t bothered me because I know my powers and what I'm capable of, but until that line came up, the "I love you with all my heart" line popped up, it confused me, now wait a minute we both said our I love you to each other, but we never made our hearts interfere.
He should've said: "I love you with half of my heart!"
Yes since the x and I both are in his heart, both of us can't take the whole heart, either half to each or none, one divided by two, is half!
Again I ask how many could one single human being love.
I love my mom, sisters, friends and all of yall!
But romantic love, passionate, and to you sexually active people, sexual love, simply how many could we love?
And "If" we loved two, if we love three, four, five, hell make it seven, would we be fair to all of them?
I don’t think I am capable of loving more than one, my morals won't allow me, and my convictions stand in the way, what convictions? You might ask, the ones deep down, the ones that held me and stopped me from cheating, playing around, or even stealing when I need some cash when I was sitting on a bank.
In life, are we to love more than one, and in life, if we loved more than one, are we being fair to the other party?
Or better yet, in life, how many are we allowed to love at once?
Is it possible that one might love two?
Three? Or perhaps four just like our religion – Islam – says?
I once dated a bisexual girl, she said she loves me after a month from our first date, with her standing at the age of 18 at that time; it didn’t surprise me much, even though I was only 16.
She said that she loved me, but she also loved her X-girlfriend, it took me by surprise, didn’t understand what she said, or what she mean by what she said, maybe because I was only 16, maybe because I was mainly controlled by my balls, even though till this time, my balls still control a hell of a lot of my behavior.
Now! I'm headed to the scary age of 18, I am in a very successful relationship, I have good friends, and I am admiring life, even though she keeps on spitting on me, and treating me like shit, but still, when she was good to me I haven’t thanked god, so I better be thankful any way so god would make everything better.
I love you with all my heart, said the love of my life, this might sound quite normal, actually it is perfectly normal if it wasn’t for the fact that the past relationship of his, hasn’t end yet, that still feeling of love, bonds the two of them, the cherry on top is that the "I love you" each other.
It hadn’t bothered me because I know my powers and what I'm capable of, but until that line came up, the "I love you with all my heart" line popped up, it confused me, now wait a minute we both said our I love you to each other, but we never made our hearts interfere.
He should've said: "I love you with half of my heart!"
Yes since the x and I both are in his heart, both of us can't take the whole heart, either half to each or none, one divided by two, is half!
Again I ask how many could one single human being love.
I love my mom, sisters, friends and all of yall!
But romantic love, passionate, and to you sexually active people, sexual love, simply how many could we love?
And "If" we loved two, if we love three, four, five, hell make it seven, would we be fair to all of them?
I don’t think I am capable of loving more than one, my morals won't allow me, and my convictions stand in the way, what convictions? You might ask, the ones deep down, the ones that held me and stopped me from cheating, playing around, or even stealing when I need some cash when I was sitting on a bank.
In life, are we to love more than one, and in life, if we loved more than one, are we being fair to the other party?
Or better yet, in life, how many are we allowed to love at once?
It's
It's quit enticing
How your breath fondles with my upper lip…
Quit seducing…
When you get taller to kiss me…
By taking a step…
Quit amusing
The journey from your hair to your breast…
Then back to your shoulders tip
That’s it touch my skin…
Take off my pride
My ego… my sadistic side…
That veil…
Eyes like yours…
Too bright to be hidden…
Or put in jail…
I want to wash the dust of life in your river…
Infatuate me… deep pleasure pain…
I don’t want to feel better…
Words have no meaning when you think of me…
Words…
Entice…
Seduce
Amaze… amuse… a muse
How your breath fondles with my upper lip…
Quit seducing…
When you get taller to kiss me…
By taking a step…
Quit amusing
The journey from your hair to your breast…
Then back to your shoulders tip
That’s it touch my skin…
Take off my pride
My ego… my sadistic side…
That veil…
Eyes like yours…
Too bright to be hidden…
Or put in jail…
I want to wash the dust of life in your river…
Infatuate me… deep pleasure pain…
I don’t want to feel better…
Words have no meaning when you think of me…
Words…
Entice…
Seduce
Amaze… amuse… a muse
Perfect
When did we get so obsessed of being perfect?
We wax, shave, peel for real! Cut, pick, pinch, color and spend tones of money, all that work is on our bodies!
I once heard on Seinfeld, you know the sitcom, I heard jerry say "if my body was a car, I wouldn’t buy it", frankly, Amen to that!
All that work, and may I say, hard! All for what?
Love perhaps?
Well, if the person I'm in-love with loves me for my looks, then I'm the biggest loser!
What if my hair falls?
What if my teeth become yellower?
What if I start to smell?
For the love of god what if I couldn’t get "it" up any more?
Once a good friend of mine told me, to test some ones true intentions after the 3rd date, and make sure she is in it for the person not the looks, is to burry your good looks, and make sure it flies out the window…
Am I going to make myself look bad, just to make sure that the person in front of me likes me for the Real Me?
I am not, I wanna be me and be loved for the good looking –sometimes- and flaw-full me!
So there is no escape from this following statement, we "perfect" our selves not to find love, we simply do it to build our self confidence or maybe just to please our ego.
Now, that statement is coming from the "drive through" looks and careless me.
But I gotta tell ya guys, the narcissistic me is beating the heck out of my brain, so it would send the signals to my fingers, so they could type this statement "only perfect cashes dollars, not so perfect? Nada!"
Now I am back to square one!
When did we get so obsessed with being perfect?
And add another question to that, why are we so obsessed with being perfect?
Oh wait, who made us so obsessed with being perfect?
Oh my god!
We wax, shave, peel for real! Cut, pick, pinch, color and spend tones of money, all that work is on our bodies!
I once heard on Seinfeld, you know the sitcom, I heard jerry say "if my body was a car, I wouldn’t buy it", frankly, Amen to that!
All that work, and may I say, hard! All for what?
Love perhaps?
Well, if the person I'm in-love with loves me for my looks, then I'm the biggest loser!
What if my hair falls?
What if my teeth become yellower?
What if I start to smell?
For the love of god what if I couldn’t get "it" up any more?
Once a good friend of mine told me, to test some ones true intentions after the 3rd date, and make sure she is in it for the person not the looks, is to burry your good looks, and make sure it flies out the window…
Am I going to make myself look bad, just to make sure that the person in front of me likes me for the Real Me?
I am not, I wanna be me and be loved for the good looking –sometimes- and flaw-full me!
So there is no escape from this following statement, we "perfect" our selves not to find love, we simply do it to build our self confidence or maybe just to please our ego.
Now, that statement is coming from the "drive through" looks and careless me.
But I gotta tell ya guys, the narcissistic me is beating the heck out of my brain, so it would send the signals to my fingers, so they could type this statement "only perfect cashes dollars, not so perfect? Nada!"
Now I am back to square one!
When did we get so obsessed with being perfect?
And add another question to that, why are we so obsessed with being perfect?
Oh wait, who made us so obsessed with being perfect?
Oh my god!
Immaculate, He Said!
Don’t kid your self; you're not an immaculate conception…
To prove it, your greatest skill is deception…
You thought of your self as an exception…
But believe me, you’re an ordinary roach, who needs an intervention…
Or at least so I could breathe, so I could be fair to myself, a lethal injection…
You're an anchor…
Holding me down…
I'll fight harder…
I won't let myself drown…
You're questions…
Could only be answered by asking questions…
Now, Still You Think That You're an Immaculate Conception?
To prove it, your greatest skill is deception…
You thought of your self as an exception…
But believe me, you’re an ordinary roach, who needs an intervention…
Or at least so I could breathe, so I could be fair to myself, a lethal injection…
You're an anchor…
Holding me down…
I'll fight harder…
I won't let myself drown…
You're questions…
Could only be answered by asking questions…
Now, Still You Think That You're an Immaculate Conception?
Hey Yall!!
After public humiliation, feelings of shame, losing pride and a very dramatic day, I sat watching through my window, all the innocent children playing soccer, bare foot, and I wondered, why did he say that?
As you all know I am in a very happy relationship, successful I might say, and very much based on trust.
And since I have family, school, social and psychic issues, I started complaining to the person I love; the person I always looked up too.
And the truth is I've been complaining for a few days now, that’s due to the fact that I am very depressed and into deep trouble, regarding all aspects of my life, so depressed that if I was going to die right this moment, I would simply go wear something clean and pretty so I would look nice when I die.
The pressure of those troubles was very heavy on me, causing me to lash on a lot of people, causing me to lash out on that person when ever he did something wrong.
And although that he gets like that a lot, meaning when he is under pressure or in an argument he acts either too cold or very disrespecting – although he thinks the differ – he didn’t understand what I am going through, asked me to relax and said that I don’t respect him, finishing his conversation "you complain a lot".
I couldn’t help but wonder!
To whom may we complain to?
To whom may we talk to and yes, annoy when we are in trouble, when we feel like we're failures, when we feel down, when we feel worthless, and dare I say, when we feel unappreciated?
"You Complain a Lot"
Feeling a series of complexed emotions, I started doing what I do best, cry.
A mute cry, that kept on burning me from within, telling me that I've learned a lesson, I feel you are worthless, don’t complain about it, if life is not treating you like you treat her, don’t complain about it, if you got humiliated, mistreated, slapped in the face from various aspects in life, worked too hard and never got the result you deserve, simply, don’t complain about it.
The only thing you are allowed to do is call your friends in your usual cartoon-like tone, saying "Howdy Yall" and joke about how you broke your legs, taking your falls.
As you all know I am in a very happy relationship, successful I might say, and very much based on trust.
And since I have family, school, social and psychic issues, I started complaining to the person I love; the person I always looked up too.
And the truth is I've been complaining for a few days now, that’s due to the fact that I am very depressed and into deep trouble, regarding all aspects of my life, so depressed that if I was going to die right this moment, I would simply go wear something clean and pretty so I would look nice when I die.
The pressure of those troubles was very heavy on me, causing me to lash on a lot of people, causing me to lash out on that person when ever he did something wrong.
And although that he gets like that a lot, meaning when he is under pressure or in an argument he acts either too cold or very disrespecting – although he thinks the differ – he didn’t understand what I am going through, asked me to relax and said that I don’t respect him, finishing his conversation "you complain a lot".
I couldn’t help but wonder!
To whom may we complain to?
To whom may we talk to and yes, annoy when we are in trouble, when we feel like we're failures, when we feel down, when we feel worthless, and dare I say, when we feel unappreciated?
"You Complain a Lot"
Feeling a series of complexed emotions, I started doing what I do best, cry.
A mute cry, that kept on burning me from within, telling me that I've learned a lesson, I feel you are worthless, don’t complain about it, if life is not treating you like you treat her, don’t complain about it, if you got humiliated, mistreated, slapped in the face from various aspects in life, worked too hard and never got the result you deserve, simply, don’t complain about it.
The only thing you are allowed to do is call your friends in your usual cartoon-like tone, saying "Howdy Yall" and joke about how you broke your legs, taking your falls.
Buisness Is Buisness!
In the country of filthy rich, the country of dolce, prada, Gucci, porch, LV, high income and pride, sky high noses and investments, not in Italy, in Kuwait, are we willing to sell all of our morals, to the Kuwaiti dinar?
One of my friends, whom I had great expectations for, because he was/is very smart and I had/have big confidence that he is going to suit them, so he called me the other day with the news that he is in a relationship!
Now the exclamation point is something I am very popular for, and I usually use it wither the news deserves it or not, but believe me ladies and gentlemen, it has purpose in this story…
You see this "friend" of mine, is actually a frenimie, wich means a friend/enemy, and that term is used on people who are too competitive and pretending to be your friends, or simply "just wanna rub it in your face!" kind of people, who also pretend to be your friends.
Now back to the subject, he told me that he is in a relationship, and he is very happy, but what struck me like lightning is that he always said that he doesn’t believe in love, or happiness in a relationship in Kuwait, and he isn’t willing to place his trust in any one at all, now how could any one change in matter of days?
He kept on talking about the girl and how amazing is she, how she thinks that he is the one and so… then he mentioned her last name, which is only the richest family in Kuwait, that’s when I had the "he sold his soul" epiphany!
He is in it for the money? No wait let me rephrase, he is in it for the money!
In the concrete like emotional ladder of Kuwait, did we become so in love with money, so into it, so captivated by its presence that we would fake the word " I love you" to some one just to get a few pennies?
Now I am confused, can't you work and get your pennies? Or better yet, can't you at least say it, that you are in it for the money?
When did we become prisoners of the k.d?
When did we agree that faking "I love you" is o.k.?
When did we become such DICKS?
One of my friends, whom I had great expectations for, because he was/is very smart and I had/have big confidence that he is going to suit them, so he called me the other day with the news that he is in a relationship!
Now the exclamation point is something I am very popular for, and I usually use it wither the news deserves it or not, but believe me ladies and gentlemen, it has purpose in this story…
You see this "friend" of mine, is actually a frenimie, wich means a friend/enemy, and that term is used on people who are too competitive and pretending to be your friends, or simply "just wanna rub it in your face!" kind of people, who also pretend to be your friends.
Now back to the subject, he told me that he is in a relationship, and he is very happy, but what struck me like lightning is that he always said that he doesn’t believe in love, or happiness in a relationship in Kuwait, and he isn’t willing to place his trust in any one at all, now how could any one change in matter of days?
He kept on talking about the girl and how amazing is she, how she thinks that he is the one and so… then he mentioned her last name, which is only the richest family in Kuwait, that’s when I had the "he sold his soul" epiphany!
He is in it for the money? No wait let me rephrase, he is in it for the money!
In the concrete like emotional ladder of Kuwait, did we become so in love with money, so into it, so captivated by its presence that we would fake the word " I love you" to some one just to get a few pennies?
Now I am confused, can't you work and get your pennies? Or better yet, can't you at least say it, that you are in it for the money?
When did we become prisoners of the k.d?
When did we agree that faking "I love you" is o.k.?
When did we become such DICKS?
Loss of convections…
After the agony of searching for the perfect friend, or more likely, a real friend, I stumbled across an email message from hi5, from a profile that took a famous and worldly known label name, as and an introduction, surprised? Well yes I was, thinking that maybe it was the company's profile, since a lot of companies like Nike and others have taken the liberty of putting profiles in hi5, to advertise how casually cool they are…
Back to our subject, a simple "hi, I'm Kuwaiti, interested in having Kuwaiti friends, and you seem friendly" Or so!!! Message.
I got interested in the guy, since he didn’t take much time in taking his pictures, he simply took one or two for the sake of the profile, on the contrary to what I have done, 16 pictures and counting.
So I replied as fast as I could, screaming Halleluiah! There is a normal person upfront! Flaccid see, no cloud in sight! We chat and we become good friends!
Why am I writing this? Well I always said that most of Kuwaitis are back stabbing, snobby, selfish, neurotic, distrait, self absorbed jerks, but now I am losing my convections, to the eggs and cigies guy, and to some more guys that I am meeting these days!
Could this be possible? There is less not so popular Kuwaitis, and there are more popular Kuwaitis, and could it be possible that they are on demand?
More surprising issue…
Could it be possible? I am losing my convection, and I am wrong?
Back to our subject, a simple "hi, I'm Kuwaiti, interested in having Kuwaiti friends, and you seem friendly" Or so!!! Message.
I got interested in the guy, since he didn’t take much time in taking his pictures, he simply took one or two for the sake of the profile, on the contrary to what I have done, 16 pictures and counting.
So I replied as fast as I could, screaming Halleluiah! There is a normal person upfront! Flaccid see, no cloud in sight! We chat and we become good friends!
Why am I writing this? Well I always said that most of Kuwaitis are back stabbing, snobby, selfish, neurotic, distrait, self absorbed jerks, but now I am losing my convections, to the eggs and cigies guy, and to some more guys that I am meeting these days!
Could this be possible? There is less not so popular Kuwaitis, and there are more popular Kuwaitis, and could it be possible that they are on demand?
More surprising issue…
Could it be possible? I am losing my convection, and I am wrong?
eggs, cigies and tranies
How do we humans do this?
Mixing all kinds of wrong things together?
Like how come people buy things and don’t wear them?
Or how come I study hard, but I don’t get high grades?
Or how could we simply see white rappers, black golfers, atheist Kuwaitis, Christian Saudis, and the story that made me write this topic, gay transsexual?
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not a racist, or a redneck, but I couldn’t help but wonder, why a guy would, cut it!, and put it in a jar, get his nose done, laser his mustache and beard, get diamond drop shaped breast implants, let his hair grow into a 3 feet long sassy brown silky shape, going through all that jazz, becoming a woman, then shortly after its all done, he decides that he likes girls!
Now correct me if I am wrong, if u like girls wouldn’t u rather stay a guy and use "it", instead of putting "it" in a jar?
If u like woman, stay as a guy, don’t become a lesbian transsexual?
My oh my, I would never cut "it"!
So how could we humans do it?
It's like this online friend of mine who eats eggs and smoke cigarettes at the same time, it doesn’t fit it just doesn’t!
Mixing all kinds of wrong things together?
Like how come people buy things and don’t wear them?
Or how come I study hard, but I don’t get high grades?
Or how could we simply see white rappers, black golfers, atheist Kuwaitis, Christian Saudis, and the story that made me write this topic, gay transsexual?
Now don’t get me wrong, I am not a racist, or a redneck, but I couldn’t help but wonder, why a guy would, cut it!, and put it in a jar, get his nose done, laser his mustache and beard, get diamond drop shaped breast implants, let his hair grow into a 3 feet long sassy brown silky shape, going through all that jazz, becoming a woman, then shortly after its all done, he decides that he likes girls!
Now correct me if I am wrong, if u like girls wouldn’t u rather stay a guy and use "it", instead of putting "it" in a jar?
If u like woman, stay as a guy, don’t become a lesbian transsexual?
My oh my, I would never cut "it"!
So how could we humans do it?
It's like this online friend of mine who eats eggs and smoke cigarettes at the same time, it doesn’t fit it just doesn’t!
'Til My Boyfriend Do Us Apart
One of my really exotic friends said that she is going to get married soon, it was a real blow when she continued with the sentence "to my cousin :D!", you see, the story wont be as shocking as it is to you guys "Muslims and Kuwaitis" because in our culture, marriage to cousins is a custom thing really, a ritual one might say, but to you Christian friends, it’s a major taboo, well, I am not speaking Christian wise, the girl has a boyfriend, and dare I say, they are sexually active, which means in our culture, they're meant to be burned on a stick, any way, so she is saying that she will get married to her cousin, though she is in love with her boyfriend, then she completes with the idea that if her boyfriend really loves her he should stop the marriage and force her parents to give her hand to him to marry.
Now that is not the issue here, still it is not people, the issue is could you stay with someone who's married? Wither you love the bastard or not, will you stick around?
Frankly, if I was in love for real I would, but how would it make me feel if some one is backstabbing me and screwing behind my back, and still late at night when she comes to me she tells me she loves me, and another question regarding the married person if he said that he could love two, could any one really, love two?
Now this topic maybe as scrambled as heck, but hey, some of my questions are complicated, and ya'll complained about that many times, still I have to ask you guys…
Can anyone love two?
Can you backstab your loved ones and cheat?
Can you date/love a married person?
Can you lie, saying I love you, everyday, to a person you're married to, and the truth is that you don’t?
Can you I mean seriously, can do it, get married though you are in love with another one?
Now that is not the issue here, still it is not people, the issue is could you stay with someone who's married? Wither you love the bastard or not, will you stick around?
Frankly, if I was in love for real I would, but how would it make me feel if some one is backstabbing me and screwing behind my back, and still late at night when she comes to me she tells me she loves me, and another question regarding the married person if he said that he could love two, could any one really, love two?
Now this topic maybe as scrambled as heck, but hey, some of my questions are complicated, and ya'll complained about that many times, still I have to ask you guys…
Can anyone love two?
Can you backstab your loved ones and cheat?
Can you date/love a married person?
Can you lie, saying I love you, everyday, to a person you're married to, and the truth is that you don’t?
Can you I mean seriously, can do it, get married though you are in love with another one?
Powder Snow
Slow Movement from My Heart...
Seconds, keeping our death apart...
Satan White Sheets...
Wrap your body, waist and soft feet...
I was hoping we could meet...
Before it all ends...
Tender powder snow...
Lies on your frozen face and glows...
You belong to me...
I think it shows...
You're not allowed to leave...
Lingering, is one of our undying vows…
A black blossomed rose sleeps in-between your breasts…
A vampire like vest…
Long nights flowing from your head, to your chest…
In an open casket, you're laid to rest…
Tender powder snow…
Lies on your frozen fest…
Please darling, wake up and clear the mist…
I know you're alive, please, I think I passed the test…
Or at least darling, please…
Take Me With You To Rest…
Seconds, keeping our death apart...
Satan White Sheets...
Wrap your body, waist and soft feet...
I was hoping we could meet...
Before it all ends...
Tender powder snow...
Lies on your frozen face and glows...
You belong to me...
I think it shows...
You're not allowed to leave...
Lingering, is one of our undying vows…
A black blossomed rose sleeps in-between your breasts…
A vampire like vest…
Long nights flowing from your head, to your chest…
In an open casket, you're laid to rest…
Tender powder snow…
Lies on your frozen fest…
Please darling, wake up and clear the mist…
I know you're alive, please, I think I passed the test…
Or at least darling, please…
Take Me With You To Rest…
no one to talk 2
u know what feeling i hate?
when i feel bad and frustrated, sad, alone, and very very depressed.
and whats worse is when i call the people i love and there busy, or they cant talk.
whats even worse, is when i log online and every one is busy.
but the worst of all....
is when i sleep feeling like that.
it just holds me captive, i just feel invisable.
when i feel bad and frustrated, sad, alone, and very very depressed.
and whats worse is when i call the people i love and there busy, or they cant talk.
whats even worse, is when i log online and every one is busy.
but the worst of all....
is when i sleep feeling like that.
it just holds me captive, i just feel invisable.
cartoon u
i wonder...
i wonder why we compare our self in with movie charecters
or
cartoon heros
well, sometimes we always see these good charecters, this really super charecters, u kow, like these cartoon heros
and u just wanna be like them!
i donno, like i wanna save people, i wanna fly in the speed of light, and help people through there SHIT!
i wanna be safe, and sound!
happy
i wanna get hit by a bus again and again, and never die!
i got a friend, who sucks at his job, but keeps on trying and trying, and never stop!
he reminds me of that wold in road runner, he always fails to catch beep beep, but he keeps at it!
or this friend of mine, who is just like bugs bunny, always makes people luagh and never stop his shiny humor.
any way, i think we compare our selves to cartoon heros, or movie stars, just because, they sound better, they look better, and for sure, they live better, than we do.
but hey ...
lets not forget, they're all fake ...
i wonder why we compare our self in with movie charecters
or
cartoon heros
well, sometimes we always see these good charecters, this really super charecters, u kow, like these cartoon heros
and u just wanna be like them!
i donno, like i wanna save people, i wanna fly in the speed of light, and help people through there SHIT!
i wanna be safe, and sound!
happy
i wanna get hit by a bus again and again, and never die!
i got a friend, who sucks at his job, but keeps on trying and trying, and never stop!
he reminds me of that wold in road runner, he always fails to catch beep beep, but he keeps at it!
or this friend of mine, who is just like bugs bunny, always makes people luagh and never stop his shiny humor.
any way, i think we compare our selves to cartoon heros, or movie stars, just because, they sound better, they look better, and for sure, they live better, than we do.
but hey ...
lets not forget, they're all fake ...
love @ 1st sight
In a country as bitchy as Kuwait, are we really believers in love at first sight?
Frankly, after too many bumps in the road, and three disks of X files, and just to tell you I'm not in single digits at all, I dated, freaks, fake boobs, idiots, liars, oh lets not forget the.. the what's it called, oh my god, there is no definition for it, hmm, u know when some people fake an accent in certain words, like instead id simply saying party, they say par-taaaay. Or instead of café-latté, it becomes cafay-lataaay, and some of that crap, I just don’t know what to call it!
Any way after that many bad dates, and relationships I started writing, few month and years, I started comparing my writings, and turns up, I do not believed in love at first sight, baby, if I didn’t see an std test, and a set of credit cards, I wont be safe dating, nor loving any one, since I don’t want to like playing sexual yenta, or even pay for his/her divorce, oh and yeah, I would like to see his/her family tree, just in case if we go deep, I don’t really wanna screw my cousin, now back to the subject, volatile, is the definition of love at first sight, I mean, most guys my age get that 5 times a day, I'm not really like them, but hey, I am not in the mode to bang some boy or girl, and then get guilt, any way, I wasn’t sexually active, until some one told me that I am prince charming, so, well, I don’t wanna talk about sexually active people, any way, do u believe in love at first sight?
Frankly, after too many bumps in the road, and three disks of X files, and just to tell you I'm not in single digits at all, I dated, freaks, fake boobs, idiots, liars, oh lets not forget the.. the what's it called, oh my god, there is no definition for it, hmm, u know when some people fake an accent in certain words, like instead id simply saying party, they say par-taaaay. Or instead of café-latté, it becomes cafay-lataaay, and some of that crap, I just don’t know what to call it!
Any way after that many bad dates, and relationships I started writing, few month and years, I started comparing my writings, and turns up, I do not believed in love at first sight, baby, if I didn’t see an std test, and a set of credit cards, I wont be safe dating, nor loving any one, since I don’t want to like playing sexual yenta, or even pay for his/her divorce, oh and yeah, I would like to see his/her family tree, just in case if we go deep, I don’t really wanna screw my cousin, now back to the subject, volatile, is the definition of love at first sight, I mean, most guys my age get that 5 times a day, I'm not really like them, but hey, I am not in the mode to bang some boy or girl, and then get guilt, any way, I wasn’t sexually active, until some one told me that I am prince charming, so, well, I don’t wanna talk about sexually active people, any way, do u believe in love at first sight?
the art of compromising
is compromising an art of any way?
is compromising really a must in a relationship?
well i say yes!
we say yes!
hell of a lot of people say hell yea!
now listen to my story yall:-
i'm in a relationship with some one, that i love deeply, yes i get hurt alot from some of the senseless jokes i get - though he doesnt meen them -, i do alot of hurting too, concedring my age, and my hormones, my act will be pulled up together at the age of 21, or 20, somewhere in between, we are close, in love, happy most of the time, but these few days we are getting a rough edge, you see, i wasnt a sexualy active person, a kiss was the farrest thing i concedred reaching, but after a really hard slap in the face, and mis-judgement, not to mention heartbreak, i agreed about being sexualy active, hated the thought of it yes, but then i got sucked into it.
now after that, the person i'm in a relationship with wants me to do something more, something i've experience in my early childhood and didnt really like it, this thing is addictive, and i've tried hard, well hard is a very light word concedoring what i've tried :s, not to get addicted to it.
my other half told me more than once, after me passing 21, i'd be exposed to that matter, now he is demanding that i be exposed now, saying that he had experinced it befor, though in more than one conversation, he said he never did it.
so do i compromise?
i know u guys will email me asking what the heck am i talking about, just like some other posts, this subject is deep, and i only know one thing, i feel like a cheap easter bunny, i look good, but i'm tastless, and hollow from the inside...
one other question, why do we compromise?
JerkáLimma
As I walked down the side walk of my own, little house on the briary, Pun Intended, :Pp~, to meet this friend who I recently found out he's gay – found out as in found him making out with my hunk of a friend who always bragged about having three girlfriends – so I met him, his car, un-usually clean and smelling surprisingly fresh and minty!, without a hello, he started complaining about his life, and how many jerks he saw and/or met, and how depressed these people made him feel, not to disrespect my friend, but somehow, I dozed of thinking of how many jerks I've met in my life, male or female, it didn't matter to me, I just started counting:-
There is a guy I met in high school, he stopped being friends with me because I don’t drive, saying what help am I, If I cant get him anywhere?
A girl at loyac, named noria – yes I agree bitchie name! – ised to pick fights with me just because I didn’t look good, well guess what bitch, I am a fuckin model now!
A guy used to greet me in an awesome way, and tell me good things about myself, and the moment I turn my back he used to talk shit about me.
A girl I met online, after being really close, and after telling me her secrets and sending me her daily photo's, she blocked and deleted me because her boyfriend says he doesn’t trust her.
A guy said he doesn’t feel like talking to me and that I am pushy and that I put a lot of pressure on him after he told me a certain secret, now that wasn’t what annoyed me much, the annoyment came from the fact that we didn’t talk about his secret much, we just randomly chatted.
A girl I dated for a few weeks, told me she loves me in the same day we met, on the third week, she tells me that she hates me, and she is a lesbian.
One of my so called close friends, after I've read a book about how to develop friendship and make it stronger, said "I don’t feel like being friends with you, like janet Jackson said, I'm gone" the drama loving boy is facing an identity crises now, how cool is that?
This girl at dance class, I wasn’t taking classes there I was leading the forth line in a play, so I suggest a move for the 1st line, she started swearing at me saying that I am trying to insult her and teach her job, the problem was the move was taken and she started talking behind my back that I steal things from the stage, and I'm the one who stole the audio mix cd's.
Now this one is joined force, two girls started talking about me and maya – a very close friend – being sexually active together, other guy started annoying maya, but revenge was taken this time, guess prada bags cant really handle dr pepper.
A so-called-friend sent me an email, saying that I'm a "3gaidy" for wearing outfits more than once, EXCUSE ME!
One of my so many ex-friends – and ex's for that matter – had a perk of doing practical jokes on me, it went so far, that he publicly humiliated me by keeping the price on a gift I asked him to buy for a friends' birthday, the gift was a paper-back book that coasted 2 kd only, I was ashamed, really I could've given more, but I wanted to give a good book, instead of a good message, the people got the idea of me being cheap.
Now I'm not saint, some think I'm a jerk, but I wont enjoy hurting people, as to my friend who wanted to complain for me, after I bought him a Sunday ice cream, he felt all better, now u my dear, met a jerk lately?
There is a guy I met in high school, he stopped being friends with me because I don’t drive, saying what help am I, If I cant get him anywhere?
A girl at loyac, named noria – yes I agree bitchie name! – ised to pick fights with me just because I didn’t look good, well guess what bitch, I am a fuckin model now!
A guy used to greet me in an awesome way, and tell me good things about myself, and the moment I turn my back he used to talk shit about me.
A girl I met online, after being really close, and after telling me her secrets and sending me her daily photo's, she blocked and deleted me because her boyfriend says he doesn’t trust her.
A guy said he doesn’t feel like talking to me and that I am pushy and that I put a lot of pressure on him after he told me a certain secret, now that wasn’t what annoyed me much, the annoyment came from the fact that we didn’t talk about his secret much, we just randomly chatted.
A girl I dated for a few weeks, told me she loves me in the same day we met, on the third week, she tells me that she hates me, and she is a lesbian.
One of my so called close friends, after I've read a book about how to develop friendship and make it stronger, said "I don’t feel like being friends with you, like janet Jackson said, I'm gone" the drama loving boy is facing an identity crises now, how cool is that?
This girl at dance class, I wasn’t taking classes there I was leading the forth line in a play, so I suggest a move for the 1st line, she started swearing at me saying that I am trying to insult her and teach her job, the problem was the move was taken and she started talking behind my back that I steal things from the stage, and I'm the one who stole the audio mix cd's.
Now this one is joined force, two girls started talking about me and maya – a very close friend – being sexually active together, other guy started annoying maya, but revenge was taken this time, guess prada bags cant really handle dr pepper.
A so-called-friend sent me an email, saying that I'm a "3gaidy" for wearing outfits more than once, EXCUSE ME!
One of my so many ex-friends – and ex's for that matter – had a perk of doing practical jokes on me, it went so far, that he publicly humiliated me by keeping the price on a gift I asked him to buy for a friends' birthday, the gift was a paper-back book that coasted 2 kd only, I was ashamed, really I could've given more, but I wanted to give a good book, instead of a good message, the people got the idea of me being cheap.
Now I'm not saint, some think I'm a jerk, but I wont enjoy hurting people, as to my friend who wanted to complain for me, after I bought him a Sunday ice cream, he felt all better, now u my dear, met a jerk lately?
contradiction
i'm 17, yes i'm young, still i haven't met the world...
but somehow, most the people i've met where all shinny from the outside and really empty and hollow from the inside...
or just like those cheap easter chocolate bunnies, tastless from the outside and smelling tasty from the inside... its an intresting contradiction...
isnt it?
but somehow, most the people i've met where all shinny from the outside and really empty and hollow from the inside...
or just like those cheap easter chocolate bunnies, tastless from the outside and smelling tasty from the inside... its an intresting contradiction...
isnt it?
Can't Get It Outta My Head!
Jennifer Lopez - Que Hiciste
It's a Spanish song, thanks to the After Hours Blog, here it is...
http://www.mediafire.com/?cynmwm4wm4y Original Song
http://www.mediafire.com/?bonddjttzm0 Club Mix >>> Personal Fav!
Here's The Blog Link..
Thank U Misho = Devilish Cutie
http://theafterhoursblog.blogspot.com/
Doodling the rain
dearest...
after doodling for an hour your simple smile, i somehow forgot how it sparkled on your face, i somehow forgot how immaculate life is, with it blessing each and every secound...
dearest rain, dearest rain....
rain...
rain...
after doodling for an hour your simple smile, i somehow forgot how it sparkled on your face, i somehow forgot how immaculate life is, with it blessing each and every secound...
dearest rain, dearest rain....
rain...
rain...
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